he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Pooping to opera.
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