He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
