i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize