Come see our sink grown plant.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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