he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
