He had one of those small greek statue penises
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
