porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
what day is it and did you see me today?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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