I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
