"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
