9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
