sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
