WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
