I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
