im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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