why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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