why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
