Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
