What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
