i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
