You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize