why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
