Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
