at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
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