It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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