i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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