So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
