this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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