i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize