Got a toothbrush?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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