Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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