when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
