good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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