I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize