You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
