this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
