The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
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