I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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