He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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