I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
