Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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