There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
