We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
