you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
