I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize