if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
