Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Randomize
