you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
