i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize