moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
