Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
