he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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