why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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