just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize