Just mADE A PArabola og urine
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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