Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
being pregnant is like rehab
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
