Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
