Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
