I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
When are your genitals available?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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