I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
