Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
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