Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I believe in your delicious
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
