Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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