i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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