I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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