Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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